It’s not always easy to forgive, but in my experience it is always the best choice. Why, you might ask? Forgiveness is not as much for the “forgiven” as the “forgiver”.
It took me a long time to truly embrace this concept. I didn’t have any problem with the idea when it related to a simple offense, like a toe stub or even a basic offense.
It was much more difficult for me with the “Ex”. Can you hear the drum roll? I have suffered from an inability to really forgive him and let it all go. Oh, I have thought I was over it, and thought that I had let go, yet there would always be something that would set me off, or ignite that flame of anger again.
I don’t always respond well to stress. I like to think that I do, but considering the fact that my own children used to describe me as a volcano, not so much. I tend to be a “camel and the last straw” kind of girl. I go along, bearing whatever comes my way, and then collapse under the weight of it all. Maybe the house of cards analogy would work?
Last week, I had one of my melt downs. In the midst of a trying refinance my house, I hit a stumbling block. It should have been avoidable. I should have seen it coming. The details were much less important than the fact that I was angry at myself for not fixing/resolving a long standing issue with the “EX”. Lucky for me, I had a call scheduled with my ‘accountability partner’, Susan Palmer Wood. While she kindly listened to me vent, she suggested that I consider “Ho’oponopono”. Huh? What is Ho’oponopono?
It took her a few minutes to explain it to me, and then a few more to walk me through it. Much to my amazement, it not only had a calming short term effect, but it has stayed with me. Most importantly, I find myself using it whenever I run the risk of hitting the proverbial wall of residual anger.
The concept may seem simple; Repentence, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Love.
- Repentance – I’m Sorry.
- Ask Forgiveness – Please forgive me
- Gratitude – Thank you
- Love – I love you.
According to the research I have done, the origin of the practice comes from the Hawaiian tradition of Huna. Ho’oponopono means to make right.
This was the second time that I had heard someone say that failing to forgive is equivalent to remaining tethered to a person or place. In my case, this was my ex. Susan had me envision him, talk through the steps and see myself cutting the cord between us. This is of course an over-simplification. I am not an expert, thus I don’t want to muddy the water.
I can say that I had never succeeded is letting the anger go, and feeling like it was the true beneficiary all at once.
If you would like to know more about Ho’oponopono, you may consider reading:
- http://www.ancienthuna.com/ho-oponopono.htm
- http://www.laughteronlineuniversity.com/practice-hooponopono-four-simple-steps/
If you would like to contact Susan, she is a great life coach and nutritional advisor, she can be reached at: Susan Palmer Wood, susanpalmerwood@gmail.com for contact. And instagram.com/mymightyadventures .
I also enjoyed the free audio class Experience a 7 minute forgiveness process by Dr. Matt James.
When you find yourself in a situation that you just can’t let the anger or pain of a past relationship go, consider Ho’oponopono. You might gain more from letting the anchor go than remaining bound to it.
#ForgivenessIsDivine #Ho’oponopono #SinkOrSwim #JustLetItGo #AskYourSelfDoesItServeYou? #BreakTheChains
If you are bound to me due to a our mutual past, I’m Sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I love you.
Note: I am not Hawaiian. I am not an expert on Ho’oponopono. By sharing my experience, my intention is full of respect and love, not cultural misappropriation. I do believe that wisdom is best when shared.
The Janet Lee 